Pop music is full of lyrics that are intentionally nonsensical. Beck, for instance, has built an entire career out of this. When a musician starts singing about "a piece of wax falling on a termite that's choking on the splinters" or "a little silhouette of a man, scaramouche, scaramouche," I just accept that I'm never going to understand the meaning behind the lyrics, and I move on with my life.
But then there are the lyrics that are just kind of weird, and it's not really clear whether the weirdness was intentional or not. You know, not totally crazy, but you're left thinking "Wait, what? Is that really what they meant to say? Are they that stupid? Or strange? Or could they just not think of any other line that would rhyme with the previous one and have the correct number of syllables?"
So here's my list of the Top 10 Semi-Sensical Song Lyrics of All Time -- not totally bizarre, just bizarre enough to keep me thinking about them for much longer than I should:
10.) Jay-Z - "It's Hot"
It starts with the line: "Hovah's like Noah, keep two in the truck." That's pretty clever. That works. But then comes the next line:
"I'm like U-Haul: Every bitch movin' I fuck." I get that U-Haul is involved in the business of moving things, but I still don't see how this metaphor is supposed to work. U-Haul doesn't fuck every bitch that is moving, as far as I know. Unless maybe Jay-Z is taking issue with their prices? Like every woman who has to move her things with U-Haul gets fucked over by their expensive hourly rates and surcharges?
And then there's the chorus:
"Thirty-eight revolves like the sun round the Earth." Forehead, meet palm. Palm, meet forehead.
9.) Estelle - "American Boy"
"I met this 5'7" guy that's just my type." Slightly below-average height is your type? Not that there's anything wrong with a guy being 5'7" but I don't know too many women who view it as a selling point.
8.) Petey Pablo - "Freak-a-Leak"
"24, 34, 46 -- good and thick, and once you get it then she'll work wit it" Wait, your ideal woman has a freakishly small chest and suffers from borderline abdominal obesity? You musicians have very strange preferences in romantic partners.
7.) R.E.M. - "Leaving New York"
"Leaving was never my proud." Is George W. Bush ghost-writing lyrics for R.E.M. now?
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6.) Akon - "Dangerous"
"I can notice but to, notice you, noticing me." Wait, George W. Bush is ghost-writing for Akon now, too???
5.) Queen - "I Want to Break Free"
"I've fallen in love for the first time..." Oh, well that's sweet. This is your first experience with true love. "...This time I know it's for real." This time? I thought you just said it was your first time!! Liar! I feel so betrayed. I thought I was your first.
4.) Notorious B.I.G. - "Hypnotize"
"At last, a n*gga rappin' 'bout blunts and broads, tits and bras, menage-a-trois, sex in expensive cars." Yes, "at last" is just what I was thinking, too. I mean, finally we have a rapper who is willing to go there, a rapper who can rhyme about flashy automobiles and sex with multiple attractive women.
3.) Sade - "Smooth Operator"
"Coast to coast, L.A. to Chicago." As a New Yorker, I find this deeply offensive. And retarded.
2.) Kanye West - "Gettin' It In"
"Don't try to treat me like I ain't famous. My apologies, are you into astrology? Cause I'm, I'm tryin' to make it to Uranus." I take issue with these lyrics on two distinct grounds. First of all, while astrology is related to celestial bodies, it's not going to help you find Uranus. For that, you need astronomy. It's not quite as nice of a rhyme, but it still works. Secondly, Kanye, the Uranus/Your-Anus pun? Really? You have the wit of a fourth-grader. And you're a gay fish.
1.) Alanis Morisette - "Ironic"
(The entire song.) Well, obviously. No other song has been more ridiculed for the unintentional inanity of its lyrics than "Ironic." Bonus: No other song has allowed so many people to feel smart about themselves for pointing out the irony of a song dedicated to irony that contains zero references to actual irony. The budding intellectual snobs of the world thank you, Ms. Morisette.
www.sevensinnerswe.blogspot.com
But then there are the lyrics that are just kind of weird, and it's not really clear whether the weirdness was intentional or not. You know, not totally crazy, but you're left thinking "Wait, what? Is that really what they meant to say? Are they that stupid? Or strange? Or could they just not think of any other line that would rhyme with the previous one and have the correct number of syllables?"
So here's my list of the Top 10 Semi-Sensical Song Lyrics of All Time -- not totally bizarre, just bizarre enough to keep me thinking about them for much longer than I should:
10.) Jay-Z - "It's Hot"
It starts with the line: "Hovah's like Noah, keep two in the truck." That's pretty clever. That works. But then comes the next line:
"I'm like U-Haul: Every bitch movin' I fuck." I get that U-Haul is involved in the business of moving things, but I still don't see how this metaphor is supposed to work. U-Haul doesn't fuck every bitch that is moving, as far as I know. Unless maybe Jay-Z is taking issue with their prices? Like every woman who has to move her things with U-Haul gets fucked over by their expensive hourly rates and surcharges?
And then there's the chorus:
"Thirty-eight revolves like the sun round the Earth." Forehead, meet palm. Palm, meet forehead.
9.) Estelle - "American Boy"
"I met this 5'7" guy that's just my type." Slightly below-average height is your type? Not that there's anything wrong with a guy being 5'7" but I don't know too many women who view it as a selling point.
8.) Petey Pablo - "Freak-a-Leak"
"24, 34, 46 -- good and thick, and once you get it then she'll work wit it" Wait, your ideal woman has a freakishly small chest and suffers from borderline abdominal obesity? You musicians have very strange preferences in romantic partners.
7.) R.E.M. - "Leaving New York"
"Leaving was never my proud." Is George W. Bush ghost-writing lyrics for R.E.M. now?
-
6.) Akon - "Dangerous"
"I can notice but to, notice you, noticing me." Wait, George W. Bush is ghost-writing for Akon now, too???
5.) Queen - "I Want to Break Free"
"I've fallen in love for the first time..." Oh, well that's sweet. This is your first experience with true love. "...This time I know it's for real." This time? I thought you just said it was your first time!! Liar! I feel so betrayed. I thought I was your first.
4.) Notorious B.I.G. - "Hypnotize"
"At last, a n*gga rappin' 'bout blunts and broads, tits and bras, menage-a-trois, sex in expensive cars." Yes, "at last" is just what I was thinking, too. I mean, finally we have a rapper who is willing to go there, a rapper who can rhyme about flashy automobiles and sex with multiple attractive women.
3.) Sade - "Smooth Operator"
"Coast to coast, L.A. to Chicago." As a New Yorker, I find this deeply offensive. And retarded.
2.) Kanye West - "Gettin' It In"
"Don't try to treat me like I ain't famous. My apologies, are you into astrology? Cause I'm, I'm tryin' to make it to Uranus." I take issue with these lyrics on two distinct grounds. First of all, while astrology is related to celestial bodies, it's not going to help you find Uranus. For that, you need astronomy. It's not quite as nice of a rhyme, but it still works. Secondly, Kanye, the Uranus/Your-Anus pun? Really? You have the wit of a fourth-grader. And you're a gay fish.
1.) Alanis Morisette - "Ironic"
(The entire song.) Well, obviously. No other song has been more ridiculed for the unintentional inanity of its lyrics than "Ironic." Bonus: No other song has allowed so many people to feel smart about themselves for pointing out the irony of a song dedicated to irony that contains zero references to actual irony. The budding intellectual snobs of the world thank you, Ms. Morisette.
www.sevensinnerswe.blogspot.com
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